@LordSupremeChess It's a rumor 'you need to love yourself' so don't say their life means more than yours
To have real friends-Get a life
To have real friends-Get a life@LordSupremeChess said in #43:
> You little---
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I've got one Thanks.
> You little---
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I've got one Thanks.
@LordSupremeChess
I have not seen book recommendations or a definition of friend in this forum thread, and I personally believe a good definition is difficult to find or come up. Here is part of a poem by a Dutch standup comedian Toon Hermans, a part which can be seen hanging at the wall in people's houses.
- You need someone
- Who, when needed, prays for you or fights for you
- Only if you have someone who laughs with you and cries with you
- Only then you can say "I have a friend"
Now looking at your other forum comments, maybe the problem is that you have not trusted anyone else to become your friend. One of my favorite philosophers (J.K. from India) more or less said this : If we have been hurt in the past we tend to not want to hurt again, and therefore we close ourselves.
I would say that every person out there, whether it is in a supermarket, a park, school, a waiting room can be part of a new experience. If you find common interest with the other person (like a hobby, talking about a specific topic, showing empathy and interest) such a thing can be the prelude for a friendship. Focus on the small victories, tap yourself on the shoulder for that, be patient and persistent. Do not give too much focus on what we can call bad experiences, and you may be good to go.
I have not seen book recommendations or a definition of friend in this forum thread, and I personally believe a good definition is difficult to find or come up. Here is part of a poem by a Dutch standup comedian Toon Hermans, a part which can be seen hanging at the wall in people's houses.
- You need someone
- Who, when needed, prays for you or fights for you
- Only if you have someone who laughs with you and cries with you
- Only then you can say "I have a friend"
Now looking at your other forum comments, maybe the problem is that you have not trusted anyone else to become your friend. One of my favorite philosophers (J.K. from India) more or less said this : If we have been hurt in the past we tend to not want to hurt again, and therefore we close ourselves.
I would say that every person out there, whether it is in a supermarket, a park, school, a waiting room can be part of a new experience. If you find common interest with the other person (like a hobby, talking about a specific topic, showing empathy and interest) such a thing can be the prelude for a friendship. Focus on the small victories, tap yourself on the shoulder for that, be patient and persistent. Do not give too much focus on what we can call bad experiences, and you may be good to go.
Find any people who had similarities with u...maybe music, sport, local chess club, school activities, charities or even any shop.or park u use to visit....
I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.
The night you died I cut it off.
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.
I'm sorry that I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.
(Tom Lehrer, I Hold Your Hand in Mine)
Or, in gangsta-rap style:
I hold yo hand in mine, bitch, I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy nibble of yo mutilated fingertips.
My joy would be complete if the rest of you was here,
But still I keep yo hand as a motherfuckin' souvenir.
The night you died I hacked it off. Do not ax me why.
For now each time I kiss it I git blood an' shit upon my tie.
I'm sorry now I wasted you. Our lovin' it be fine.
Until the mothas bust me I will hold yo fuckin' hand in mine.
(H. Paul Shuch)
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.
My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.
The night you died I cut it off.
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.
I'm sorry that I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.
(Tom Lehrer, I Hold Your Hand in Mine)
Or, in gangsta-rap style:
I hold yo hand in mine, bitch, I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy nibble of yo mutilated fingertips.
My joy would be complete if the rest of you was here,
But still I keep yo hand as a motherfuckin' souvenir.
The night you died I hacked it off. Do not ax me why.
For now each time I kiss it I git blood an' shit upon my tie.
I'm sorry now I wasted you. Our lovin' it be fine.
Until the mothas bust me I will hold yo fuckin' hand in mine.
(H. Paul Shuch)
@LordSupremeChess said in #17:
> WILL YOU PEOPLE REALIZE THAT I SAID I HAVEN’T HAD FRIENDS SINCE 2020????
Ill be ur friend.. In fact i am searching for some
> WILL YOU PEOPLE REALIZE THAT I SAID I HAVEN’T HAD FRIENDS SINCE 2020????
Ill be ur friend.. In fact i am searching for some
Ask them if their eyebrows are true.
@LordSupremeChess don't stress about quantity of friends. Focus more on quality. You only need a small handful of good, close friends. You can have a lot of acquaintances but none might be your friend.
As others have alluded to, friends are there when you are having a tough time, mere acquaintances will flee awkwardly at the first sign of trouble, and be nowhere to be seen. At university my friends were those that I shared interests and activities with, the rugby club girls, the societies, the other weirdos (jk), people with shared beliefs and values.
Actually the rugby club is a good example. We trained together, played together, fought together in crappy cold, wet weather. We took tackles for each other and went to hospital for the good of the team. Personal sacrifice for the greater good was standard, we didn't even question it. We literally shed blood for each other. We started as a small, disorganised group of beginners and just a few years later, were a formidable team. We went through shared experiences, going on tour in the minibus to Ireland, shared the joy of victory and the pain of defeat and injury together. Those girls were the most down to earth, solid, uncomplicated friends you could ask for. Of course, we were all on the same course, all training to be vets so we had that in common as well.
So what am I saying with all this? Go out of the house and find some activities to do with others irl. Be interested in them, listen more than you talk, find out what's going on in their life and be interested, and open up to them. If you are closed, well maybe it feels safer but if you want to make close friends you might need to take emotional risks.
And sometimes, I just randomly talk to people about the weather or chess or cats or whatever, either here or irl and just find a friend. Believe it or not I am still shy and lack confidence, and suffer mildly with imposter syndrome (although it is common in my profession) . All the best with this. It will get better xx
As others have alluded to, friends are there when you are having a tough time, mere acquaintances will flee awkwardly at the first sign of trouble, and be nowhere to be seen. At university my friends were those that I shared interests and activities with, the rugby club girls, the societies, the other weirdos (jk), people with shared beliefs and values.
Actually the rugby club is a good example. We trained together, played together, fought together in crappy cold, wet weather. We took tackles for each other and went to hospital for the good of the team. Personal sacrifice for the greater good was standard, we didn't even question it. We literally shed blood for each other. We started as a small, disorganised group of beginners and just a few years later, were a formidable team. We went through shared experiences, going on tour in the minibus to Ireland, shared the joy of victory and the pain of defeat and injury together. Those girls were the most down to earth, solid, uncomplicated friends you could ask for. Of course, we were all on the same course, all training to be vets so we had that in common as well.
So what am I saying with all this? Go out of the house and find some activities to do with others irl. Be interested in them, listen more than you talk, find out what's going on in their life and be interested, and open up to them. If you are closed, well maybe it feels safer but if you want to make close friends you might need to take emotional risks.
And sometimes, I just randomly talk to people about the weather or chess or cats or whatever, either here or irl and just find a friend. Believe it or not I am still shy and lack confidence, and suffer mildly with imposter syndrome (although it is common in my profession) . All the best with this. It will get better xx
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